How to Succeed in Winning Friends Without Really Trying

Seventy years ago Dale Carnegie's book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, was #1 on the nonfiction bestseller list for the year. I was shocked when I learned that the book was 70 years old, and I figured the title was popular enough that TV scribes would've alluded to Carnegie's work quite often. As usual, I was wrong. Here's the short list of allusions:

• How to Win Friends and Electrocute People (''Cheers,'' 12/15/1988)
• How to Win Friends and Influence Nazis (''Hogan's Heroes,'' 10/21/1967)

Don't worry. I'll give you more than that.

Whenever I hear the title, How To Win Friends and Influence People, I immediately think of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. OK. How to Succeed... was a 1952 book, 1961 musical and 1967 theatrical film. It has to have more allusions. In fact, there are so many allusions that I'll break them into two groups.

The ways to succeed:

• How to Succeed in Business and Be Really Trying (''The Smothers Brothers Show,'' 4/1/1966)
• How to Succeed in Business Without Crying (''The New Phil Silvers Show,'' 4/18/1964)
• How to Succeed in Business Without Really Retiring (''Minder,'' 2/18/1993)
• How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying to Be a Lesbian (''What I Like About You,'' 1/21/2005)
• How to Succeed in Farming Without Really Trying (''Gomer Pyle, USMC,'' 10/19/1966)
• How to Succeed in Television Without Really Trying (''Green Acres,'' 1/24/1968)
• How to Succeed in the Spy Business Without Really Trying (''Get Smart,'' 3/11/1967)
• How to Succeed in the Stock Market Without Really Trying (''The Debbie Reynolds Show,'' 2/24/1970)

And the ways to not succeed:

• How to Fail in Business with All Kinds of Help (''Bewitched,'' 4/6/1967)
• How to Suck in Business Without Really Trying (''Duckman,'' 7/19/1997)
• How to Try in Business Without Really Succeeding (''HMS Paradise,'' 12/3/1964)