Everybody Hates Schwag

OK. I know that ''Everybody Hates Chris'' is a big hit for UPN, but I think they're going a little bit overboard.

I'm sure you're waiting with bated breath for your ''Everybody Hates Chris'' snow globe. How 'bout ''Everybody Hates Chris'' cocktail shakers? You think I'm making this stuff up? As you know, I'm not nearly that creative.

Paramount Pictures Corp. filed multiple trademark applications for their critically-acclaimed skein. It all started late September, when they filed an app for television series. That makes perfect sense. Then it just snowballed this month. So far Paramount filed seven separate trademark apps in October for the following items:

• Apparel, namely Baseball Caps, Sweatshirts, Golf Shirts, Costumes


• Furniture, Non-Metal Key Fobs, Key Chains, Novelty License Plates, Snow Globes


• Duffel Bags, Book Bags, Fanny Packs, Coin Purses, Umbrellas, Wallets


• Paper goods and printer matter, namely Books, Calendars, Comic Books, Pens, Trading Cards, Magazines, Greeting Cards, Bumper Stickers, Decals


• Jewelry, Watches, Clocks


• Videocassettes, DVDs, Decorative Refrigerator Magnets, Sunglasses, Mousepads


• Housewares, namely Coffee Mugs, Shot Glasses, Drinking Flasks, Cocktail Shakers, Lunch Pails