A New Groom Keeps Clean

Yesterday I got an invitation to a June wedding in Hawaii, and I'm already excited about the Maui weekend. I only dread hearing all the Just Mauied jokes. And, yes, there is a website for people who want to get Mauied, www.justmauied.com.

After I opened the mail, I flipped through the channels and stopped on MTV's ''Next'' because the women were getting dolled up in wedding dresses. I thought it was kind of an odd stunt, but it kind of worked. I watched for about five minutes, until the babes on the bus tried finding something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. I kept waiting to hear "something stolen," but one of the wanna-be-brides knew the old saying stone cold.

Ever wonder how TV ep titles use this phrase? Here's a short list:

• Something Battered, Something Blue (''That's Life,'' 10/5/2001)
  
• Something Borrowed, Someone Blue (''Murder, She Wrote,'' 1/8/1989)
  
• Something Borrowed, Someone Blue (''Frasier,'' 5/18/2000)
  
• Something Borrowed, Someone's Due (''Will & Grace,'' 3/7/2002)
  
• Something Borrowed, Something Bruised (''The District,'' 5/1/2004)
  
• Something Old, Something Nude (''L.A. Law,'' 10/10/1991)
  
• Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blew (''Arnie'')
  
• Something Stolen, Something Blue (''Matinee Theatre,'' 1/16/1958)